Kevin Gates admits he intended to kill himself

Kevin Gates has recently become more vulnerable and open about his mental health and prior suffering.

The Louisiana rapper has opened up a little more about his mental health.

Kevin revealed to the hosts of the Big Facts podcast, DJ Scream, and Baby Jade that he was planning to commit suicide back in December 2020, which he had previously kept confidential.

Kevin stated during the interview: “I'ma say something on this interview that I've never said before. December 10th through the 12th was the hardest for me. I disabled my Instagram. See, I don't do the ‘Man, I'm 'bout to kill myself!' I don't want any attention. I was going the way of the samurai. Just smash myself because I was to the point I ain't wanna live no more.”

Kevin Gates Details The Moment He Wanted To Take His Own Life In December pic.twitter.com/FGwnAItK3I

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Gates threw a birthday celebration for his daughter, Islah, in Cabo and shared a video of him cuddling her, fearing it would be his final time seeing her before deactivating his Instagram account.

Kevin described his suicide ideation, blaming it on his previous emotional trauma and a lack of not feeling “celebrated” at home.

“I wasn't happy. As a man, when you are a provider and you do not feel like you are being celebrated in the proper manner, you feel like you are only being tolerated. When I was in the streets, I used to hate going home because I feel like I wasn't welcome there. Y'all act like I'm just doing what I'm supposed to be doing.”

Gates continued: “We so busy being tough and harboring all these resentment and emotions and the shit we deal with. That pressure was on the top of my head. I was like, ‘Man, I quit.'”

The Baton Rouge rapper went on to describe the day he would carry out the terrifying deed. After writing a farewell statement, the rapper went to the gym for one more workout. At that particular moment, he ran into a fan as he was leaving who ended up saving his life.

The fan expressed gratitude for Kevin's music by saying: “your music done kept me from committing suicide so many times.”

Kevin then told the fan about how he was on the verge of committing suicide. The fan, on the other hand, sobbed and held Kevin, reminding him of his importance.

“You know what that dude do? He cried and he grabbed me and he said, ‘If you do that, so many people gonna take their own life 'cause you all we got.' This shows you how God works through people. I said, ‘You know what? I guess I'll stick around a while.' I'm still just playing, I do my little proper voice when I'm being sarcastic.”

Gates decided to “give it three days” after hearing his fan's emotionally moving speech, during which time he would drive to Puerto Rico, where his family is from, and avoid social media. Both of these things assisted him in reconnecting with himself and regaining his feeling of joy.

On June 30, 2021, during Mike Tyson's Hot Boxin Podcast, Kevin Gates recounted his story about the start of his rap career.

Gates spoke about his faith, music, and many other elements of his life, but his response to the question of what got him into rap surprised many. He responded “It was an escape for me. And imma say something…I never said this in no interview, no podcast or anything like that, I grew up real real violent, and real aggressive, not because I wanted to be but I was molested when I was a child so I had this fear of being vulnerable.”

“So I took every kind of martial arts you could take and I even boxed, I did everything and I wanted to be the toughest person on earth. But writing and making music was always an escape for me. Like I never had like the nuts to come out and say that, this my first time saying this today,” Kevin added.

 

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Many admirers, including those from New Orleans, have expressed their respect for the Baton Rouge rapper for speaking out.